But I Love Him: Protecting Your Teen Daughter from by Jill Murray

By Jill Murray

One in 3 women may be in a controlling, abusive courting courting earlier than she graduates from highschool – from verbal or emotional abuse to sexual abuse or actual battering. Is your daughter at risk?

Dr. Jill Murray speaks regarding relationship violence at excessive colleges round the kingdom, attaining greater than 10,000 scholars, lecturers, and counsellors every year. In each college she visits, she is approached by means of teenage women in depressing relationships who, while faced with the choice of breaking apart with the boy, exclaim, "But i admire him!"

Many younger ladies – and their mom and dad, are usually not even conscious of the symptoms of a in all likelihood abusive dating. what is such a lot alarming is that those indications also are the various behaviours that ladies locate so much flattering:

A boy pages and calls a woman usually – yet as a sort of regulate, now not affection.

He desires to spend all his time along with her, yet ultimately will not permit her to spend time together with her buddies.

He says "I love you" very early within the dating.

those behaviours can increase into blaming, keeping apart, manipulating, threatening, humiliation, and sexual and actual abuse.

In But i like Him, Dr. Murray identifies those controlling, abusive styles of behaviour and is helping you get your daughter out of the connection with out alienating her. you are going to study what attracts her to this sort of dating, why she has a troublesome time chatting with you approximately it, the certain limitations young people face while breaking off a dating, and what is occurring within the brain of an adolescent abuser. Dr. Murray may also help you express your teenager what a deferential dating seems like, and train her the significance of respecting herself. edition.

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Additional resources for But I Love Him: Protecting Your Teen Daughter from Controlling, Abusive Dating Relationships

Sample text

Dennis told me in front of his friends that my butt was really huge. ” —RANDI, FIFTEEN 32 / BUT I LOVE HIM Breaking treasured items This is a way that a boy can, once again, rob a girl of something that is precious to her. It shows a total lack of respect for what your daughter holds dear and that his boundaries are blurred. He doesn’t care about her possessions, and he doesn’t care about her feelings. If she cries about his breaking her favorite doll, the one her departed grandmother gave her, he calls her a baby or says that she’s crazy because it was only a stupid doll.

She cries more than she used to. As a matter of fact, she always had a pretty sunny disposition, but when she started getting so moody, we figured it was teenage hormones talking. She carries her cordless phone with her all around the house because he tells her he’s going to call her. She waits and waits and can’t seem to do anything else. The other night we were all going out for ice cream, and she said she couldn’t go because Davis was going to call. We told her that he’d leave a message on the answering machine, and she had this look of terror on her face.

He blames her for all of his problems. If he gets a bad grade on a test, it’s her fault. If he misses a shot at basketball practice, it’s her fault. It’s crazy. ” Scott said, “We talked with her about the letters right away, and she was furious. She felt that we were invading her privacy—and I know that technically we were—but really Robyn was changing her bedsheets and found them under her mattress. We told her that we expected her to break up with him. She had only been seeing him for two weeks when he wrote those letters, and if this was how he was thinking about her then, we couldn’t imagine what was going to happen to her in time.

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